You’d think it was easy to give myself permission to become a successful business coach, when it really wasn’t.I worked for 20 years in marketing & communication for major companies before I finally started my business coaching practice to help new coaches find their voice, niche and clients.Why did it take me so long?Fear of failure.Fear of what others might think.Fear of not being able to pay the mortgage.Fear of going it alone.Fear of putting myself out there.Fear of being vulnerable.Fear of uncertainty about a steady income.Fear of lack of discipline, focus and self-sabotage.Fear of not believing in myself.Fear of not being worthy enough.Fear of not being good enough.You get the picture.I remember thinking if only there were a magic wand to help me transition into coaching.Well, I found one; it’s called permission.First, you have to be clear about why you want to follow your dream and what it is costing you if you don’t give yourself permission to fulfill it.Second, you have to be able to tolerate the fear that comes up when you permit yourself to step into your power, up your game and go pro. The more you practice permission, the easier it gets.Here’s how…
1. TRUST THE ANSWERS WILL COME
Trust that although you may not yet know how, the answers will come as you take a stand for your coaching business dream. Follow other experts vigorously. Get on their mailing lists. Support their business by promoting their work and collaborating. Research methods for high performance and productivity to grow your business. Trust – Receive – Grow.
2. DON’T LISTEN TO OTHERS
Don’t let the limitations of others hold you back. From now on, love the fact that others are scared for you and want you to be safe. But your heart wants to sore and be free. You need a purpose to live.
3. ALLOW YOURSELF TO FEEL GOOD ALL THE TIME
When you consider the possibility of consistently feeling good and having things go well in your life all the time, you may find yourself thinking, “That’s not possible.” The only relevant question is whether you will let it be possible for you. If you would be willing to accept that possibility, you’re on the way to experiencing real magic in your life. So say out loud, “I give myself permission to feel good. It’s OK for me to be happy all the time. I own my full potential.”
4. IS IT A FAILURE OR A LESSON?
Sometimes we don’t get the approval of others, because we have to find our own power. Sometimes it doesn’t work out the way we want it to because there’s a deeper lesson. There’s always an upside and silver lining. Sometimes the pain is so strong that we forget to learn the lesson. What would the lesson be of you not getting permission from someone else? Ask yourself: is your fear a reason to stop or a reason to believe in yourself. Is this failure or a lesson?
5. EMBRACE VULNERABILITY
Think of all those heroic characters in books and films, in the part of the story where the main character is lost and struggling. S/he tries to find the way forward by taking every path except the one that requires VULNERABILITY. The struggle continues until s/he finally realizes that the only way home is through uncertainty and total vulnerability. Into the dark.
6. PUT YOURSELF FIRST
Go deep inside yourself and make the shift to courage and contribution. Be proud of yourself for coming this far. Most people give up. Not you. You go the distance to figure out your needs and with them. Have the courage to put yourself first, then your higher power, then others.
7. LET GO OF OLD PATTERNS
Why? Let go of old thought and behavior patterns? So that you can be free, live your purpose, make your contribution and have an impact on this world. To have rapport with your heart and what you can give (it’s not about money or fame). You have something you want to give to this world. The only person’s permission to do that, is our own. We think we need approval of someone else to feel good.Ultimately, you only need your own power.
8. AFFIRMATIONS & MANTRAS
One “I’m so proud of me or I believe in me” is more powerful than 1000 therapy sessions. Affirm yourself daily that you make good decisions, that you learn and grow from failures, that you are allowed to make mistakes and that you are allowed to be happy all of the time. Or write a mantra to focus the mind during meditation (For example: “I expand in abundance, success and love when I give myself full permission to…and inspire others to do the same.”
9. PERMISSION LETTER
Write a permission letter to yourself as if written by a parent, a significant other or higher power, giving yourself all the permission you need to thrive in your purpose and business. Make sure to include everything you’ve always wanted them to say.My permission letter: Hi Carl, you’re doing so well with your coaching, retreat, workshops and speaking. The value and energy you contribute when serving and supporting others is outstanding. I have always known that you have special gifts to share with the world. I believe in you. It’s wonderful to see you moving forward every day. The fact that you build your business slowly and strategically while being able to pay the bills is clever and sensible of you. I support you 100% in all your dreams and aspirations and know how disciplined and wise you are to follow through successfully. That’s why I want you to know that you have my full permission to continue pursuing your business goals and dreams and making a positive difference in the world with the value you give. I stand behind you fully while knowing that you are very talented at assessing the risks and making the best decisions with your heart and your mind. Keep leading and keep contributing. I am proud of you! Carl, you have full permission to shine.
10. ATTACH A NEW OUTCOME TO MEMORIES
Relive past memories when a parent or friend told you that you couldn’t do something. Notice how it feels that they didn’t have our back. Say your frustration out loud. Now imagine that the same person approves of you and all the things you want to do from your heart. What would they say to you? Say it out loud: “I believe in you, I’m proud of you, I approve of you. Go do it – I’ve got your back.”
11. FIND A MENTOR
Borrow someone’s belief in you. Get a mentor who sincerely believes in you and you ability. Allow your mentor to challenge you, affirm you, set intentions for you, support you and celebrate your achievements with you. People who have a structure of support are 98% more like to succeed then those who do not.Remember: When you give yourself permission and have the courage and skills to push through, then the universe steps up to support you. That’s how it works.Did you like this article? Leave a comment below with your feedback. And let me know your tips and for giving yourself permission.I look forward to hearing from you.Much joy & gratitude,- CarlPS: Want to skyrocket your coaching business to success? Book a complimentary strategy session with me, no salesy talk, just tons of value. Select a date & time convenient for you CLICK HEREPPS: Get my step-by-step blueprint for a 6-figure coaching business at the Eat Pray Learn Retreat in Tuscany, Italy. LEARN MORE About Carl BrooksCarl helps beginner coaches make money with their coaching so that they have the freedom and independence to do what they love.Skype: firstname.lastname@example.orgFacebook Twitter
Loved this post! Expecially #2 – that is something I always have to pull myself back from and start listening to myself once again. Especially in business.
Thanks you for the comment. Happy to hear you liked the post. Listening to others more than ourselves is something we’re all guilty of from time to time. Including me. Good practice indeed to remind ourselves to listen to the better part of ourselves. I believe business is a lot more fun and creative that way.